I would say it all started in 4th grade. That was the year I started coming home after school on the bus instead of going to day-care. I snacked and snacked and the poundage just kept creeping on. I would say I was a little chunky but never severely over weight.
In high school I didn't work out a whole much but pretty much maintained a normal weight.
Here are a few pics from the high school days..
I started college in the fall of 2007. And here is where the story gets kind of tricky. Did I gain the dreaded freshman 15-20? No. More like lost 15-20 lbs....
Feb 2008. Yes there is snow on the ground, yes I am in a t-shirt and Yes I probably had a few drinks before this was taken
March 2008 My thinnest ever
Winter 2008- Alcohol may or may not have been involved with this pic as well. don't jude me :)
So freshman year of college I had been my thinnest I have ever been in my entire life? Did I work out sometimes? Sure. Was I working out and dieting the right way? absolutely not. I hardly ever ate anything and basically lived on booze and cheese cubes. Did I look and feel the best I ever had? You bet! Did I do it the right way to actually change my LIFESTYLE? Hell to the no.
I had had a boyfriend all 4 years of high school. My freshman year of college was the first time I had ever been single basically. I gained so much confidence and learned so much about myself freshman year, however I didn't have the tools to change for the long term.
In my sophomore year of college I got another boyfriend. And I fell hard. I stopped caring about watching what I ate,what I looked like, taking care of myself etc. Hey I was in love and he loved me for who I was not what I looked like right? I ate anything I wanted, stopped caring about myself and the next few years flew by. I honestly had no idea just how bad it had gotten until my senior year when I saw pictures of myself and I didn't even recognize myself. How could I have let myself get this bad?
Except for my freshman year of college I have never had confidence about my weight. I always felt my friends were skinnier and therefore better than me. I became so depressed at my highest weight. I didn't feel good enough, feel worthy enough for anyone or anything.
In May of 2011 I graduated. I got my first full time job in August 2011. I tried to lose weight a little bit but it wasn't until August of 2012 that I knew I had to step it up. I had to get serious. It wasn't about dieting for awhile, it was about learning how to eat right. To be HEALTHY not just SKINNY. To teach myself the right way to eat and exercise. To change for the better, for the long term. To be able to be capable of things I never knew I could do. Something just clicked in me last summer. I was out of school, full time working girl and If I wasn't going to change my life now then when was I? We only have one life and I intend on not wasting more second of it!
Since August I have gone from a size 16 to very recently a size 8! I am hoping to get back to a 6 or hopefully a 4. I want to be healthy and fit not just skinny. That means counting calories, working out (currently on the c25k program) and putting in effort! I definitely feel better about myself but I want to feel AH-MAY-ZING! I know what that feeling feels like and I despretely want it back. I feel like my life is just beginning and i have so much ahead of me and to live for. I have and will continue to struggle. THis is the hardest thing I have ever done but I know in the end it will be worth it. I know in the future with marriage and children I will not only be happy but be happy with myself first. I look forward to be able to wear a bikini and not be ashamed of myself. I look forward to being excited to go shopping again. And this time I'm not giving up. Please follow me on my journey to get back in shape and be the best me I can be!
Recent Progress Pics. One on the left taken March 2012. One on the right taken Jan 2013. I don't have a recent full body but You can definetely tell in my face